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A step Forward

A step forward, A world of shows A moment of rest Then we’re off, let’s go. “Where will this take me?” A question most ask But that knowledge isn’t needed For the start of this task. A step into unknown A leap made blind Will there really be Solid ground on the other side? Fear is normal It’s who we are. But it’s when fear doesn’t rule That we really see the stars. But what’s to lose, What holds us back? “Should we stay where we are?” If you’re on the right track. But is it fear That makes us stand still? The fear of the unknown That truly controls our will? Fear is healthy It makes us stop Before you jump, How high is that drop? Risk comes with all This is a fact of life Measure it carefully And avoid some strife. Know yourself Know your restraints Know where to start Know not to hesitate Know that there is no signal No flag or starting gun Know that it is only you That chooses when you run So, make the change Take this step Trust in...

Chapter 1: A restless night

I need some air. Tonight, I wasn't content with the stale atmosphere of my apartment. I couldn't relax with the confinement of these four walls keeping me in. Even the exhilarating mental stimuli created by diving into another's created world through text couldn't hold my restlessness at bay. There was nothing particularly stressful from the day, except possibly the lack of anything really substantive. This whole week I've felt like I've merely been surviving, and not advancing in any direction. Not that I was entirely sure what direction I would want to advance in, but I seemed O.K. with advancing for the sake of itself. I sighed, tossed my book to the side, sat up, and examined at my clock, which doubled as a thermometer. 2:43 A.M. 42 degrees Fahrenheit . I looked out my window. Raining. I smiled to myself. Whatever. I swung myself from my bed, and slipped from my room. Moving slowly through my living room, I eventually found myself in my kitchen. Here...

Crowded Isolation

She sits At a table all alone What she thinks, no one knows. She stands Heading for the door With her eyes to the floor A stranger passing by Could never realize The pain that lies within her eyes Isolated Broken from within She forces tears Just to feel again Her world around her Is nothing else but gray She locks herself in Nothing left to say She has nothing left to say She stares Through the windows on the train Just looking at the rain She walks To her apartment that's downtown Her steps lacking sound She passes by an alley so familiar It reminds her of time with so much color She thinks about when it all had left her Taken by a bullet that had killed her. He never told her why he did He never said a word He simply pulled the gun out And took away her world She walks the streets, all alone She's searching for an answer For an existence so isolated Can no one come and save her? The people around She begs for them But they cann...

Prelude: Choices

    Every good action can be taken too far.     Every good intention pushed to the bring of evil.     Maybe the phrase "Too much of a good thing is a bad thing" is a proper fit for this situation.     Such a light-hearted phrase back then.     But then, everything back then was different.      It was never supposed to come to this....      One man's dream. One man's ambition.     A force that truly has the power to change the course of history.      I suppose I never thought it could lead to such... catastrophic results.     One man. One dream.     Taken too far.     Pushed beyond limits that very few have even dared to cross.     But, what was I to do? My dream had led me into a place of power. People were watching. Anticipating. Pushing.  ...

Transitions

Between each chapter of life Must lie a transition A time to adjust And a time to listen A quiet time it is This time of transition Where not much takes place And not so much is seen It's like lying in a valley Rock walls to the left and to the right Not one I can lay my hand upon And both of them in sight Through the journey I make To ascend to the other side I find myself where I was lost Somewhere deep inside my mind Can this really be me? Is it true that I was lost? Amongst all the noise? Did I really lose my cause? This transition time I'm in Now has changed everything It has helped redefine my cause And helped make me complete Now, I have to question Where did it all go wrong? When did become so far gone? And why did it last for so long? Now, I tread this dusk valley Feeling nothing but wind on my face Lost in who I really am But finally in my place The past lies behind me Its trials come to leave Its lessons fresh in my head The...

Trust

    The feeling inside me ballooned so large, and so suddenly, that I was under the impression that I may explode. I knew that it had happened, but the feelings had just set in. Reality had finally made itself present into my heart, and it almost overwhelmed me.     At first, I had judged it as anger. However, it became apparent almost instantaneously that this feeling that was overcoming me was a large, dull pain. It could be compared with being hit with a large item on the back. The impact is very real, but the pain is slower to come. But when it does, it consumes your whole body, and leaves you feeling almost numb.     A pain that is the result of extended denial, of a constant purposeful ignorance of the truth. Of telling oneself that it couldn't be, that you could continue to live the way that you are, and not have to doubt the trust that trust that was so hard to put into this person.     This pain consumed me, and for a second, I thou...

The battle

All the wounds around me The ones I try to mend Have taken a great toll And now they must end A lack of sense destroyed me I have done this to myself I have brought on my own demons In pursuit of something else I've lost my way to find you And it brings me great despair To say that I'm off track That my route now needs repair My kingdom falls around me I did not have a clue What will possibly save me And there was nothing I can do But now I see But my strength within me could never be enough But still I know for sure That I could never give it up Because... You're there with me No matter where I am Your strength, it fills me And no matter what I do Your love will guide me, and it will keep me safe The battle brings great trials, But it always is the same The battle is won The battle is won And with you It can never be lost Lost... Lost.... Not lost.... I find it so very easy To get myself lost in this place And this world ...